Holistic Health and Living

Hope

Factual, Family, Hope

Wake Up Parents!

wake up parents

I am a new mother. A mother of a beautiful baby girl whose every smile and every cry defines the movement of every cell in my body. Her pain fills every inch with an inconsolable ache, and her laugh removes the slightest grief and sorrow from the core of my existence. This new phase of life called motherhood has introduced me to the emotion called love unlike ever before -something which can be so incredibly consuming, overwhelming, exhausting, draining yet persistent.In this new experience, I wonder, how can a mother want anything but the supremely best for her child. How can she even imagine something below this standard and not work tirelessly to move mountains if she must to provide more and more for the love of her life. And then I look outside the secure windows of my home, and see the gruesome reality that lies in front of me – the life of young girls which is no less than horrible and terrifying. I cannot put my mind to think other than that their parents must be completely unaware and ignorant of a better life that is achievable, otherwise I would not see girls broken beyond belief roaming the streets with smiles plastered across their faces because they think they cannot have better.

Girls too scared to be themselves, girls entirely unaware of who they are, girls killing themselves to conform to societal standards, girls caught up in the vicious rat race of being more beautiful, more powerful, more acceptable, more likable, more of everything they need never care about, and forgetting about becoming more moral, more compassionate, more kind, more accepting, more loving, more caring, more influential, more helping, more peaceful.

When is the last time we sat our daughters down and told them they are unique and perfect just the way they are, and they don’t need to follow the latest fashion trends or obsess over media superstars to become better women, better mothers, better daughters – better human beings! Why are our girls running after degrees to become self-sufficient and self-reliant when they should be working on becoming self-loving and well-groomed? Why has arrogance become ‘cool’ and manners ‘run out of fashion’? Why has healthy eating been mistaken for dieting and obesity become a widespread disease? Where has the ethics, the empathy, the everlasting humanity gone?

Think about it…

Family, Health, Hope

The Sad State of Marriages

marriage

Ah! What beauty lies in silence! There I sat in my light brown couch on the wooden floor of my illuminated veranda, sipping on the warmth of my tea. The teeny tiny twinkling droplets fell poetically before me and I heaved a breath of fresh air amidst the crystal clear ambiance. In this picturesque setting, I flew down memory lane to those cherished moments I had spent with the love of my life. Her contagious laughter, our heart to heart conversations, the moments in time where we had pushed each other to greatness, the enormous effort we have invested day and night into the plans of the future, the love and the life, every memory, every moment, every minute triggered in me a plethora of emotions.

The piercing roar of the thunder brought me back to reality. There I sat, alone, lost in thought of the most important person in my life who was now a shadow of the past. Misunderstandings, fights, disagreements and arguments – a heart-wrenching tale of the fall of this sacred relationship. All was gone and shattered because of reasons which now seem minute and insignificant.

But why? Man lives in the here and now, he seeks instant gratification, he longs for immediate results, and he often sacrifices the wars of the future for the battles of the present. In our selfish endeavors, we magnify the flaws and weaknesses that, by definition of being a human, exist in our spouse. The pursuit of perfection and the desires which drive us often disallow us to appreciate the good. We fail to understand the beauty in our partner, the strengths, the strive and instead, focus far too much on the have nots. This lack of respect for the roles, the failure to acknowledge and value the interdependency of the relationships pushes us into a dark corner of unhappiness and dissatisfaction from our relationship.

10 or 20 years from now, when you hold your spouse’s hand and wave goodbye to your grown up children who are off to lead a life of courage, challenges and compassion, that success in front of your eyes will reduce the petty arguments and fights of today to a matter of insignificance. With all the time in the world, when you and the mother of your children can cherish the happiness, remember the highs and lows, and hold each other to growth in these years of age and experience, the problems of the past no longer have a place to linger around in your minds and lives.

Trivial clashes of everyday can either be ignored to win the relationship in the long haul, or can be clustered to blow up in an irreconcilable split of the two people who love each other so dearly. Every moment of pain and hurt can be exchanged for love and trust, every loss of small arguments can be bartered for a life of support and comfort. The choice is yours to decide what you value more. These everyday decisions formulate our destiny. You are the author of your own love story and you have the power to make each chapter one of joy or one of tragedy. Sustainable relationships, powerful families, successful generations and developed societies are the accumulation of such small instances of important decisions. The question is, what do you choose for your future self today, right now, at this very moment?

Suddenly the lightning struck and I shook the thoughts out of my head to find the rain had stopped, the clarity had blurred out and the water now stood still in a muddy puddle before me. The silence still prevailed but the beauty had faded. The moment had passed, time had gone, and my marriage, like the rain, was merely a thing of the past. I had lost everything.

Family, Hope

Generation with a Golden Spoon

parents

“Mom! It’s way too hot for me to go outside!” the child exclaimed.“But dear, who is asking you to go by foot, you have an air conditioned car parked right outside for your commute. If you keep lying around as you are now, you will never learn how to live in this world”, the mother responded.“Who cares, mom, after all what do these poor people have to offer me while their life is spent sweating in their dirty clothes under the hot sun without a word of English coming out from their mouths and none listened by their ears!”, the child snobbishly replied to his mother’s wishes.

Arham, the eldest son of Khan’s family, was requested by his mother to fetch some vegetables from the market whilst he submerged his existence into the latest gadgets and luxuries of life. This response illustrated above is one of the many reasons Arham’s mother is often found worried about her child’s attitude towards social gatherings and outdoor play. She always finds Arham engaged in social media and glued to his iPhone using WhatsApp, ignoring and avoiding any chance of helping around the house or meeting the guests who visit the Khans habitually.

Another alarming concern is Arham’s disinterest and rather, annoyance towards his father’s presence. He goes as far as to avoid any interaction with his father altogether. The father who works tirelessly day and night, spends every penny of his sweat and blood into making his child happy, sacrifices constantly for the good of his family, lets go of his personal wishes and desires for those of his family, that father. And today, his child does not even wish to meet him. A story we have heard far too many times, Arham is just one of the million others indulging in similar selfish, disrespectful, unfortunate behavior. Where parents do the utmost best for their child, the child takes every moment of love for granted.

The question arises, does the fault lie in the selflessness of the parents or the selfishness of the child? Have the parents gone wrong at some significant point in life to provide a strong foundation of character, personality and understanding to their children? Have parents forgotten the ultimate goal of becoming a good human being over and above the meaningless temporary happiness their child receives from gadgetry and luxury?

Parents raise children like Arham with a Golden Spoon but forget to teach how, when and where to use this love of gold. Compromised morality, inadequate social skills, ignored ethics in all successes, and underestimated importance of rights of their parents and elders, this is the reality of the golden love they have become accustomed to. The situation before us screams the fact that learning how to help others, accept and learn from mistakes, show and feel gratitude for the smallest of blessings, and depict the true spirit of humanity isn’t hidden in the riches of the world but in the riches of good nurturing which Google, despite knowing the answer to all your questions, can’t do.

Where to go and what to do?

Wake Up and Choose the life you will want to give to your child!

Family, Hope

Family Bonding

Family bonding

Back when I was a child, life was much simpler. My family would not feel the need to separate into smaller segments in order to find the “right” source of enjoyment over the course of the weekend. We would, instead, sit down together, all four of us, in the pleasant ambience of a family restaurant and take delight in a simple, scrumptious meal. No, we did not question whether what we were eating was actually chicken or beef, but instead, we took pleasure in the reality which was not hidden at the time, in the purity which was not rare, and in entertainment which was not stained.Today, life has become much more complicated. Entertainment itself has become a complex puzzle, in which something or another exists for everyone but there’s nothing which in itself can serve the needs of all family members combined. A place, a moment, a reality which can cater to everyone’s needs and do so in complete and utter purity. While parents rush to their choice of gatherings for love, laughter or learning; youngsters often lurk in the horizons of the social media or the ‘cool’ and latest hangout spots for their own kinds of joy.

I ask you. Then, where is the family? We are no longer one unit. We are segments of a larger entity, and the broken amalgamation of separate identities, forced together on the dinner table or in the Eid prayers. Family as one no longer exists. The glued which would once bind us, has withered away.
Verita works on finding that glue and gifting you a memorable family bonding experience.

Health, Hope

Emotional Control

emotional control

I have seen young men shedding tears over a lost match of cricket, I have seen fist fights over an unintentionally scratched car, I have seen years of friendships being reduced to moments of anger over a political Facebook status, I have seen numbness to children painted in blood on the news, I have seen slashed wrists for a love that never was, I have seen broken homes over impatience and intolerance, I have seen this nation crumbling before my eyes because of the inability to curb their ‘nafs’ – that inner voice which rules over their minds and souls. I have seen every single person around me enslaved in the name of their emotions. I have seen a complete and utter mess.

There is a fine line between emotion and feeling. While we are accountable for the former, the latter is merely a hormonal change which occurs as a reaction to the circumstances we are put into by life. A feeling of remorse is innocent till it becomes an attempt of suicide. A feeling of restlessness is repairable till it becomes an anxiety disorder. A feeling of annoyance can be brushed off if it doesn’t turn into a fit of rage. That moment where a feeling can subside to a mere thought or can amplify to an action driven by emotion – that moment defines every wrong or right decision you will make in your life. One moment can allow you to enter a world of pure joy, or take away the source of all contentment from the core of your existence. One moment can gift you years of health, or throw you in the pits of drug abuse or chain smoking. One moment can open doors of professional opportunities or let you fall into nothingness.

That one moment is called emotional control.

Health, Hope

I give up – Dream BIG!

dream big

As children we are introduced to a world of possibilities, where we can dream and imagine and anything can be what you want it to be. Your favorite teddy bear can be your little brother and your stroller can be your spaceship. A child isn’t afraid to live life at large. And then we grow up. And we compete with one another, and mostly, with ourselves. Amidst the rat race of life, we forget to dream and chase our wishes of childhood. We stop wanting to become names which will be remembered long after we are gone, and we choose to conform into ‘acceptable’ today.In the pursuit of acceptance, our way of perceiving our dreams drastically changes. And then we resort to the attitude of failure. “I give up!”. A phrase we hear far too many times, an emotion that overcomes all our hopes and desires and shatters our dreams to the floor, and a moment which can put all our efforts and hardwork to a mere halt. Though, we live our lives with a constant motivation to become someone, do something and change the world for the better, unfortunately, the lemons thrown at us by life aren’t always easy to dodge, and soon after, we tear apart our list of goals to achieve; and sit, broken down and hopeless.

Day in and day out we are met with people mocking our failures, images showing us our faults and words which destroy our morale. Our dreams are considered idealistic. Our futures overshadowed by our pasts and present. And our needs of survival pull us down from the heights of inspiration. How do we get back up and charge to victory? What can be done to convert these challenges into opportunities? And how can one save himself from constant discouragement and pressures of the people around?

The way out is to outshine the haters around and flash your worth in the face of fear! To create that success story of your life, you have to become invincible in the line of fire of all difficulties. To become an exemplary model, you need to share an attitude of ‘making it happen’ and ‘no more excuses’ with others so, in return, you can see the universe working its way to help make your wishes reality. And most importantly, you have to have a force and a vision so powerful which is constantly breathing life into your depressed and hopeless soul, that nothing can stop you from becoming that someone you want to be!
Grow out of fear. Chase your passion. Become someone special. Dream.

Factual, Hope, Informational, Success Lessons

Discover Yourself

marriage

ایک ریسرچ کے مطابق پچھلے بیس سال میں اپنے کیرئیر سے مطمئن لوگوں کی تعداد میں80 فیصد کمی ہوئی ہے۔ 70 فیصد سے زیادہ لوگ اپنے کام سے متعلق ذہنی دباؤ کا شکار ہیں اور یہ ذہنی دباؤ ان کیلئے جسمانی اور نفسیاتی صحت کے حوالے سے مسائل پیدا کر رہا ہے۔
54 فیصد لوگ یہ سمجھتے ہیں کہ وہ اپنے قریبی عزیزوں سے اپنے کام کی ٹینشن کی وجہ سے لڑتے ہیں۔
60 فیصد لوگ اتنے زیادہ نا خوش ہیں کہ وہ ایک نیا کیرئیر بنانے کی option پر غور کر رہے ہیں۔
یہ سب مغرب کی ریسرچ ہے لیکن اگر آپ غور کریں توہمارے ہاں بھی صورتحال اس سے کچھ مختلف نہیں ہے۔ ہمارے معاشرے میں بھی لوگ کام سے تنگ ہیں،نفسیاتی مریض بن رہے ہیں ،اپنے اردگرد کے لوگوں پر غصہ اتارتے ہیں۔ اور بات بے بات پھٹ پڑنے کے لیے تیار رہتے ہیں۔ فرسٹریشن کا یہ level اس بات کو ظاہر کرتا ہے کہ کام اور کیرئیر لوگوں کیلیئے راحت اور آسانی کی بجائے تکالیف اور مشکلات کاسبب بن چکے ہیں۔
اگر آپ تھوڑا غور کریں تو اس کی وجوہات باہر نہیں ہمارے اندر ہیں۔ہم بھیڑ چال کو پسند کرتے ہیں لیڈر بننے کی بجائے کسی کے پیچھے چلنا ہمیں آسان لگتا ہے۔ہم کیرئیر منتخب کرتے وقت فیصلہ اس بنیاد پر کرتے ہیں کہ سکوپ کس ڈگری کا ہے پیسہ کس فیلڈ میں زیادہ کمایا جاسکتا ہے اچھا لائف سٹائل کس پروفیشن میں جانے سے مل سکتا ہے۔ اور یہیں سے ہماری تباہی اور بربادی کا آغاز ہوتا ہےاور باقی ساری زندگی ہم کولہو کے بیل کی طرح اسی غلط فیصلے کو نبھاتے ہوئے گزارتے ہیں۔
یاد رکھیے ! اللہ تعالٰی نے ہر انسان کو مختلف ، Special اور Unique بنایا ہےاور اسے مختلف Skills اور Abilities دے کر اس دنیا میں بھیجا ہے۔ ان خداداد صلاحیتوں پر مستزاد انسان کی اپنی کچھ اقدار اور کچھ شوق ہیں جو لوگ اپنا کیرئیر بناتے ہوئے اپنی خداداد صلاحیتوں ، اپنی اقدار اور اپنے شوق کو مدنظر رکھتے ہیں وہ اپنے کام کی وجہ سے نہ تو کبھی ذہنی دباؤ کا شکار ہوتے ہیں نہ وہ اپنے کا م سے تھکتے ہیں اور نہ یہ کام انہیں چڑچڑا بناتا ہے بلکہ اپنا شوق پورا ہونے کی وجہ سے ان کی خوشی اور اطمینان میں اضافہ ہوتا ہے۔
اس بات کو مثال سے یو ں سمجھیے کہ ایک انسان کو اللہ تعالٰی نے لوگوں سے پیار اور محبت کرنے کی صلاحیت سے نوازا ہو وہ دوسروں کے احساسات کو سمجھتا ہو اور ان کی مدد کرنے پر آمادہ ہو تو ایسے انسان کیلئیے آئیڈیل شعبہ کونسا ہے یقیناً ایسا کہ جس میں وہ اپنی انہی صلاحیتوں کو Practice کرسکے ۔ جیسا کہ میڈیکل کا پروفیشن یا Social Service کا کیرئیر وغیرہ ۔ اس کے مقابلے میں ایک ایسا شخص جس کے مزاج میں لوگو ں سے ہمدردی کی بجائے عدل پسندی اور اصول پرستی کے اوصاف غالب ہوں تو اس کیلیے آئیڈیل شعبہ عدلیہ ، قانون ، انصاف اور پولیس وغیرہ ہوگا۔ ایسے دونوں لوگ اپنے اپنے شعبوں میں بہترین کام کرتے ہونگے ان کی ترقی کے مواقع زیادہ ہونگے اور مادی طور پر دیکھا جائے تو پیسے بھی زیادہ کما سکیں گے۔آپ اپنے آپ سے پوچھیے آپ کس ڈاکٹر کے پاس جانا پسند کریں گے جو آپ کی بات کو توجہ سے سنے، آپ کے احساسات کو سمجھے اور پھر آپکو دوا تجویز کرے یا اسکے پاس جو آپ کی بات بھی ٹھیک سے نہ سنےاور نسخہ آپ کے ہاتھ میں پکڑا کر آپ کو چلتا کرے۔ اسی طرح یقینا ًآپ عدلیہ اور قانون میں ان لوگو ں کو پسند کریں گے جو لوگ اصول پسند ہوں ، انصاف کرنے والے ہوں اور فیصلہ کرتے وقت مجرم کے حالات کو دیکھنے کی بجائے اُسکے جرم کے معاشرے پر اثرات کو مدنظر رکھیں۔
اب اوپر دی گئی مثال کو الٹ کر لیجیے۔ایسا بندہ جو عدل پسند ہو وہ میڈیکل میں چلا جائے اور رحم اور پیار محبت والا عدلیہ میں تو کیسی صورتحال ہوگی۔ عدل پسند ڈاکٹر کے سامنےکوئی ایکسیڈنٹ کا مریض آئے تو وہ یہ سوچے گا کہ اچھا ہوا جسطرح کے یہ کام کرتا ہے اس کا ایکسیڈنٹ ہی ہونا چاہیے۔دوسری جانب ایسا بندہ جو دل کا نرم ہے اگر جج بن جائے تو وہ سزا دینے سے پہلے یہ سوچے گا کہ اس مجرم کے چھوٹے چھوٹے بچے ہیں اس کے جیل جانے کے بعد اسکی فیملی کا کیا ہوگا وغیرہ وغیرہ۔نتیجتاً معاشرہ ایسی ہی افراتفری کا شکار ہوگا جو ہمیں اپنے اردگرد نظر آتی ہے۔
کیرئیر کا انتخاب کرتے وقت اپنے اندر ضرور جھانکیے اگر آپ بہت زیادہ disciplined ہیں تو آپ کیلیئے آرمی میں جانا مناسب ہے اگر آپ کو زیادہ باتیں کرنے کا شوق ہے تو ٹیچنگ ، سیلز اور مارکیٹنگ جیسے شعبوں کا انتخاب بہتر ہے۔اگر آپ شرمیلے اور کم گو ہیں تو ایسی فیلڈ میں جائیے جہاں آپ کا لوگوں سے واسطہ کم پڑے۔اگر آپ میں تخلیقی صلاحیتیں ہیں تو آرٹ اور ڈیزائن اچھی choice ہوسکتے ہیں۔اگر آپ حقائق پسند اور عملیت کو اہمیت دینے والے ہیں تو ریاضی اورمعاشیات کو دیکھیے۔ اگر آپ کے نزدیک ایمانداری کی اہمیت ہے تو کسی ایسی جاب پر مت جائیے جہاں آپ کو بےایمانی اور کرپشن کا سامنا ہو اگر respect اور freedom کو اہمیت دیتے ہیں تو جاب کرنا ایک اچھی آپشن نہیں ہے۔
یہ کچھ اشارے ہیں جو آپکی رہنمائی کے لیے دیے گئے ہیں فیصلہ کرتے وقت اپنی ذات کا تفصیلی تجزیہ کیجیے اپنے آپ سے بار بار سوال پوچھیے کہ اللہ تعالٰی نے آپکو کس کام کیلئیے بنایا ہے اور آپکی زندگی کا مقصد کیا ہے۔ ایک بار آپ کو مقصد مل جا ئے تو زندگی سہل ہوجاتی ہے اور الجھنیں ختم ہو جا تی ہے مقصد منزل کی طرح ہوتا ہے جس مسافر کو اپنی منزل معلوم ہو وہ کبھی نہ کبھی اس پر پہنچ ہی جاتا ہے اور بے منزل مسافر ساری زندگی سڑکوں پر گزار دیتاہے اور کہیں پہنچ نہیں پاتا۔
کیا آپکو اپنی منزل معلوم ہے؟
کیاآپکو اپنا مقصد زندگی معلوم ہے؟
کہیں آپ اپنی زندگی راستوں میں بھٹکتے ہوئے تو نہیں گزار دینگے؟
کہیں آپ بے منزل مسافر تو نہیں بن جائیں گے؟
.زندگی ایک ہی بار ملتی ہے اسے اپنے غلط تجربوں اور دوسروں کی غلط خواہشات کی بھینٹ مت چڑھائیے
Hope, Informational

The Entrepreneurial Mindset – Become Your Own Boss

The Entrepreneurial Mindset – Become Your Own Boss

Children have this impeccable creativity that allows them to imagine the most mundane of circumstances as the most fantastical of opportunities to laugh, enjoy and learn from. Their tendency to magically form an entire house out of pillows or use the simplest of items in the most miraculous of ways serves as the most apparent of pieces of evidence for the innate ability that lies within all of us: the innate ability to grow, to explore opportunities, to imagine, to create and to build out of nothingness.
Just like the child who requires no fancy toys or expensive gadgets to make the most out of the present, man has the capacity to benefit from the countless opportunities all around him, void of the superficial adornments we believe to be so utterly significant – a pocket full of cash, a fancy car and the expensive, branded suit. Because, essentially, man has been born with a magnificent trait of creating his own reality. Man has been born as an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurship is not the ownership of a business. Entrepreneurship is a mindset, it is a lifestyle, it is an attitude, and it is having a certain perspective of life that reaps profits and productivity. Entrepreneurship is the ability to gauge when a seemingly barren situation can be made fertile. It is the ability to decipher when and how others can be offered an advantage from that diverse nature of chances to improve their quality of life.

Entrepreneurship is freedom. It is the freedom from economic slavery which every single individual nowadays is running after – the job. It is the independence to make a living as you please and serve humanity as you will. It is the autonomy in deciding where you wish to invest your time and efforts and how you wish to do so. It is not being bounded by the ifs and maybes, nor by the fears and apprehensions. It is the Leap of Faith.

We have been trained to think of life as the game where we can only really be the players fighting for survival, as opposed to the masters behind the puzzle. We have been taught to work for others to earn for ourselves, not realizing that life was about working for ourselves and earning for others. We have become so lost in the trivial, that we have lost sight of the truth. We are so dependent on the expectations and opinions of the world, that we have forgotten how to exist in our own thoughts.

So, Dear Readers, start taking charge of your life and stop waiting for the perfect time to get your jumpstart, because honestly, and no one is going to tell you this, but there is no perfect time. There will be no time when you have just the right amount of money, the right amount of resources, the right amount of support, and the right amount of energy to turn possibilities into realities. Because there is no right or wrong, there is only here and now.

The only thing you will ever truly need to become an entrepreneur is the drive, the motivation, the perspective, and the imagination – the entrepreneurial mindset. So, think big, take risks, explore the markets and become your own boss by freeing yourself from the chains of the ordinary man and entering into the extraordinary!