marriage

Ah! What beauty lies in silence! There I sat in my light brown couch on the wooden floor of my illuminated veranda, sipping on the warmth of my tea. The teeny tiny twinkling droplets fell poetically before me and I heaved a breath of fresh air amidst the crystal clear ambiance. In this picturesque setting, I flew down memory lane to those cherished moments I had spent with the love of my life. Her contagious laughter, our heart to heart conversations, the moments in time where we had pushed each other to greatness, the enormous effort we have invested day and night into the plans of the future, the love and the life, every memory, every moment, every minute triggered in me a plethora of emotions.

The piercing roar of the thunder brought me back to reality. There I sat, alone, lost in thought of the most important person in my life who was now a shadow of the past. Misunderstandings, fights, disagreements and arguments – a heart-wrenching tale of the fall of this sacred relationship. All was gone and shattered because of reasons which now seem minute and insignificant.

But why? Man lives in the here and now, he seeks instant gratification, he longs for immediate results, and he often sacrifices the wars of the future for the battles of the present. In our selfish endeavors, we magnify the flaws and weaknesses that, by definition of being a human, exist in our spouse. The pursuit of perfection and the desires which drive us often disallow us to appreciate the good. We fail to understand the beauty in our partner, the strengths, the strive and instead, focus far too much on the have nots. This lack of respect for the roles, the failure to acknowledge and value the interdependency of the relationships pushes us into a dark corner of unhappiness and dissatisfaction from our relationship.

10 or 20 years from now, when you hold your spouse’s hand and wave goodbye to your grown up children who are off to lead a life of courage, challenges and compassion, that success in front of your eyes will reduce the petty arguments and fights of today to a matter of insignificance. With all the time in the world, when you and the mother of your children can cherish the happiness, remember the highs and lows, and hold each other to growth in these years of age and experience, the problems of the past no longer have a place to linger around in your minds and lives.

Trivial clashes of everyday can either be ignored to win the relationship in the long haul, or can be clustered to blow up in an irreconcilable split of the two people who love each other so dearly. Every moment of pain and hurt can be exchanged for love and trust, every loss of small arguments can be bartered for a life of support and comfort. The choice is yours to decide what you value more. These everyday decisions formulate our destiny. You are the author of your own love story and you have the power to make each chapter one of joy or one of tragedy. Sustainable relationships, powerful families, successful generations and developed societies are the accumulation of such small instances of important decisions. The question is, what do you choose for your future self today, right now, at this very moment?

Suddenly the lightning struck and I shook the thoughts out of my head to find the rain had stopped, the clarity had blurred out and the water now stood still in a muddy puddle before me. The silence still prevailed but the beauty had faded. The moment had passed, time had gone, and my marriage, like the rain, was merely a thing of the past. I had lost everything.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedIn